What are your rules for loving?
What I mean by “your rules for loving”: the things, thoughts, and actions that trigger you to bring your love to a situation, or remove your love from the situation. For example: Loving your spouse when they are mad at you, or when you’re mad at them; loving someone that is pointing out your mistake.
Imagine still loving in those situations.
What would your life be like if you had no rules for loving?
Let me share a story with you.
There was man who loved his son. The son was 4 years old and his eyes shined with light. After a long day in the world the man came home excited to see his son. He longed to see the reflected joy in his son’s eyes. When he arrived home, he smiled love at his wife. She welcomed him home with a kiss and said “your son is upstairs in his room.” He climbed the stairs. He began to feel lighter with each step. The father opened his son’s bedroom door. He was immediately confronted with a scatter of toys and clothes. The bed sheets and blankets were piled like crumbled paper meant for the bin. Love left the father, chased by a scary wind. In a flash, he yelled at his son “What have you done? You are a mess. You are a disgrace. Don’t come down to dinner until it is clean, until it is all done.”
Have you ever felt the love in you disappear like the sun behind a wall of clouds?
I have had many rules for loving: be on time, listen, respect me, love me…
The more rules I had for loving others, the more miserable I felt.
Is it possible a father could still love his son, despite the son’s messy room? Is it possible for you?
What if your only rule for loving someone was that they breathe?
Even that rule isn’t necessary. Think of someone dear that is no longer here. Do you still love that person?
I have a challenge for you, if you choose.
Identify your rules for loving yourself and others. Write them down, and ask yourself “Can I just I let this go?”
Let your most honest answer bubble up. Feel yourself getting lighter.
I invite you to share your experiences, about your rules for loving.
Comments are closed.